Tag Archives: work

Fifth Grade Calculator Fun

 

—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:37
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
Why the hell am I a horse?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:38
To: Chewy
Subject: RE:
 
Because you can’t be the lion!!!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:39
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
I have the heart of a lion!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:41
To: Chewy
Subject: RE:
 
I already called the lion… you’re simply too slow.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:42
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
LIAR. LIONS DON’T HAVE PHONES

Simply calling the wizard for some courage

 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:44
To: Chewy
Subject: RE:
 
Circus lions do indeed have phones… TracPhones… but still phones!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:45
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
Now you think you’re BETTER than them? How dare you!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:45
To: Chewy
Subject: RE:
 
Circus horses only have pagers!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:46
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
Hey! They can do two-way text messaging now!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:48
To: Chewy
Subject: RE:
 
35007
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:48
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
QUIT TALKING ABOUT MY MOM
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:50
To: Chewy
Subject: RE:
 
304    It doesn’t work with that 4… 😦
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:51
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
Haha plus she is not a garden tool, you 55378008 hack! Go to 7734!
 
Yeah it doesn’t work
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:52
To: Chewy
Subject: RE:
 
Just cause you have more 8008 than all the women of this branch put together, it doesn’t mean you have to be all nasty about it!!!!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:53
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
F U U JEW
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:53
To: Chewy
Subject: RE:
 
U U?   are those supposed to be 80085
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:54
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
We are 50 awesome

There Once was a Pigeon named Tuck…

—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:26
To: Leia
Subject: RE: #2
 
DONE
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:27
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: #2
 
Good lord…. what took you so long!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:28
To: Leia
Subject: RE: #2
 
I had troubles
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:32
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: #2
 
Hemorrhoids?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:32
To: Leia
Subject: RE: #2
 
Well…. It was a pain in the ass…
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:33
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: #2
 
Want some Tucks?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:33
To: Leia
Subject: RE: #2
 
What the tuck is tucks?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:34
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: #2
 
Pigeon spit
 

Watch out. They spit.

—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:34
To: Leia
Subject: RE: #2
 
Why is it called Tucks?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:35
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: #2
 
That’s the Pigeon’s grandfather’s name
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:36
To: Leia
Subject: RE: #2
 
So all of this spit comes from a single pigeon?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:38
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: #2
 
Yes…. they keep him well hydrated
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:39
To: Leia
Subject: RE: #2
 
Change
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:41
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: #2
 
Yes…. a 75 foot tall pigeon
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:42
To: Leia
Subject: RE: #2
 
Change
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:49
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: #2
 
Yes…. a 7 headed pigeon

Another Crumby Day at Work

—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:12
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
Nike a ninja
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:12
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
Is that some kind of weird Karate move involving shoes?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:20
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
It’s called a TYPO, asshat!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:20
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
Jeez. Who shit in your peanut butter covered rice cake?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:22
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
Probably  a water bug
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:23
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
NO NEED TO TAKE THAT OUT ON ME. GAH
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:24
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
My bad…. sorry
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:53
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
Ha. Like that is genuine caring. I buy movies for you to watch, I offer to help with bullies, I watch out for you, I keep you entertained, WHAT ELSE MUST I DO?!?!?!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:59
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
OH!!!! And I never do ANYTHING for you?!?!??!?  Really CHEWY!   I refrain from passing gas when I’m using your chair, I submit my reports (for the most part) on time, I give you good stuffs to read, I offer you food, I gift you with knick-knacks (which I stole from my own children’s grasp), I keep you safe from the Beast, I kick our wall when funny things happen, I talk with you on our way to the parking lot (to make you look cool)
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 13:00
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
…… I’m still upset about you crunching up my chips  :/
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 13:03
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
Would it make you feel better if I crunched my own chips
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 13:04
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
No! The chips did nothing to you! I want all of the chips in the world to be safe and cheerful.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 13:11
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
You could become the defender of the chips…. and you could wear a cape!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 13:11
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
My catchphrase- ” Bringing help to all those with a CHIP on their shoulder!”

 

Introducing Yoda!

On Wed, Jul 27, 2011 at 2:25 PM, Yoda wrote:
Hey there, sexy.
 
 On Wed, Jul 27, 2011 at 2:27 PM, Chewy wrote:
Easy now. Monitored emails. Haha
 
 On Wed, Jul 27, 2011 at 2:28 PM, Yoda wrote:
Hey there….Panda Bear?

The Hit List

—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 12:32
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
It takes 2 to tango!!!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 12:33
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
I don’t like dancing… I have ginormous feet
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 12:38
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
It takes two to jog?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 12:39
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
You see how fat I am. I only jog if I’m being chased.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 12:44
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
I’ll have the Beast chase you
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 12:45
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
I’ll just throw him some chicken that was marinated in antifreeze
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 12:47
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
And then he will switch it with your plate of chicken, when you’re not looking, and YOU WILL DIE!!!!!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 12:47
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
Luckily, I’m immune! I’ve been preparing for this moment my whole life!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 12:48
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
So has The Beast
 
I found Diego’s foot yesterday
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 12:49
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
Was it in processed poop?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 12:49
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
It was hidden behind a door
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 12:50
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
Hahaha awesome
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 13:07
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
He demolished my mom yesterday
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 13:07
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
Sounds… dirty. Hahaha but I bet it was fun to watch!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 13:09
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
I missed it, I was at work… She got tore up… lol.  She was supposed to come back to work today from vacation. But didn’t
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 13:11
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
Oh wow. That’s not good.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 13:15
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
Yeah, when I walked in the door she was sitting at the kitchen table all dazed…. with grass and stuff all over her…
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 13:16
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
Is she actually hurt?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 13:18
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
Yeah… she was trying to walk him in the backyard and the neighbor’s dogs started barking… so he pulled really hard towards them and she fell all over the place.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 13:19
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
Jeez. That dog is really not afraid to just maul someone
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 13:24
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
I know, right!!!! You f*cks up Granny???? Damn!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 13:25
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
“You f*cks up Granny????” Ummmmmm……. What?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 13:29
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
Hahahha… I had to go to the “sent” folder to see if I actually wrote that!!! LOL
 
*WHO*
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 13:30
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
I was so bumfuzzled for a moment.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 13:30
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
fail
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 13:31
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
I’d feel pretty damn safe with that dog watching my house, though
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 13:46
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Tuesday
 
Yeah… when I’m not fearing for my life, I feel pretty safe!

Sofa King

—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 11, 2011 13:04
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Stupid crap
 
Dude… Craigslist is WAY more price friendly
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 11, 2011 13:04
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Stupid crap
 
I’m sure. But you have to be willing to trade in marijuana as well
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 11, 2011 13:06
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Stupid crap
 
Whatevs!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 11, 2011 13:09
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Stupid crap
 
When I sold my old iPhones on there before, I had a dude call me at 2 in the morning and ask if I was 420 friendly. Haha it was a joke
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 11, 2011 13:10
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Stupid crap
 
*crickets*
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 11, 2011 13:10
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Stupid crap
 
I never said it was a FUNNY joke!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 11, 2011 13:42
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Stupid crap
 
You could have warned me that It was going to be painfully Unfunny
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 11, 2011 13:42
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Stupid crap
 
No. That is something I simply CAN’T do.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 11, 2011 13:43
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Stupid crap
 
OK Meatloaf
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 11, 2011 13:43
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Stupid crap
 
I haven’t had a good meatloaf in a very long time.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 11, 2011 13:45
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Stupid crap
 
Will you hose me down with Holy Water whennn I get to Hot… HOT!
 
Lol
 
Meatloaf Muffins
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 11, 2011 13:45
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Stupid crap
 
What the devil is up with all of the complete and utter absurdity today? You need to calm down.

 

—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 11, 2011 13:46
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Stupid crap
 
No… I will not.   It’s when you make meatloaf in a muffin pan.   turd
 
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 11, 2011 13:49
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Stupid crap
 
Does it taste like turd? Because it sounds like turd…
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 11, 2011 13:50
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Stupid crap
 
It sounds like awesome and you’re an ass
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 11, 2011 13:51
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Stupid crap
 
Someone needs to learn how to use their words…
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 11, 2011 13:52
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Stupid crap
 
You can barely WHAT me???? Oh, Here me?????   HEAR!?>!?!?!?!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 11, 2011 13:53
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Stupid crap
 
You’re the devil.

You Better Work…

—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 07, 2011 11:24
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Thur-Friday
 
I got tired of waiting and posted in manually, with my bare hands
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 07, 2011 11:25
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Thur-Friday
 
Smart. You were always the smart one…
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 07, 2011 11:26
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Thur-Friday
 
Until I became the pretty one…
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 07, 2011 11:27
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Thur-Friday
 
That’s true. You can’t really be the smart one when I reply to a post that says ” and posted in manually”.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 07, 2011 11:28
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Thur-Friday
 
And then I became the corrected one
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 07, 2011 11:28
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Thur-Friday
 
You can at least be the pretty corrected one
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 07, 2011 11:29
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Thur-Friday
 
The “pretty smart”, corrected one… only sometimes kind of smart!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 07, 2011 11:30
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Thur-Friday
 
That’s a long title when I am just “the fat one”
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 07, 2011 11:31
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Thur-Friday
 
I thought you were the tall one?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 07, 2011 11:31
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Thur-Friday
 
Then I stopped exercising
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 07, 2011 11:32
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Thur-Friday
 
The one with the glasses?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 07, 2011 11:33
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Thur-Friday
 
That’s a bit better. At least the attention is off of the top of my head.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 07, 2011 11:34
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Thur-Friday
 
…unless the glasses are on top of your head… sitting in dead skin debris
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 07, 2011 11:35
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Thur-Friday
 
When I go to put them back on, I won’t be able to see through them
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 07, 2011 11:36
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Thur-Friday
 
And little flecks of peeling crinkled skin with get stuck in your eyelashes.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 07, 2011 11:37
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Thur-Friday
 
Isn’t that the “in” thing anyways? Big, clumpy eyelashes?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 07, 2011 11:38
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Thur-Friday
 
You could go on America’s Next Top Model!!!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 07, 2011 11:39
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Thur-Friday
 
I have the height for it…
 
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 07, 2011 11:44
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Thur-Friday
 
TYRA MAIL!!!!