Tag Archives: blog

Fifth Grade Calculator Fun

 

—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:37
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
Why the hell am I a horse?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:38
To: Chewy
Subject: RE:
 
Because you can’t be the lion!!!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:39
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
I have the heart of a lion!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:41
To: Chewy
Subject: RE:
 
I already called the lion… you’re simply too slow.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:42
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
LIAR. LIONS DON’T HAVE PHONES

Simply calling the wizard for some courage

 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:44
To: Chewy
Subject: RE:
 
Circus lions do indeed have phones… TracPhones… but still phones!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:45
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
Now you think you’re BETTER than them? How dare you!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:45
To: Chewy
Subject: RE:
 
Circus horses only have pagers!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:46
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
Hey! They can do two-way text messaging now!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:48
To: Chewy
Subject: RE:
 
35007
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:48
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
QUIT TALKING ABOUT MY MOM
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:50
To: Chewy
Subject: RE:
 
304    It doesn’t work with that 4… 😦
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:51
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
Haha plus she is not a garden tool, you 55378008 hack! Go to 7734!
 
Yeah it doesn’t work
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:52
To: Chewy
Subject: RE:
 
Just cause you have more 8008 than all the women of this branch put together, it doesn’t mean you have to be all nasty about it!!!!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:53
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
F U U JEW
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:53
To: Chewy
Subject: RE:
 
U U?   are those supposed to be 80085
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:54
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
We are 50 awesome
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Like a Good Neighbor…

On Tue, Aug 9, 2011 at 1:30 PM, Leia wrote:
 
And….. here comes the 1:30 slump
 
—–Original Message—–
From: R2D2
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 13:40
To: Leia
Subject: Re: booster
 
eat almonds
 
On Tue, Aug 9, 2011 at 1:40 PM, Leia wrote: 
I haz no almonds
 
—–Original Message—–
From: R2D2 
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 13:46
To: Leia
Subject: Re: booster
 
curses!!!
don’t you wish we had that statefarm chant to get what we want!
 
 
On Tue, Aug 9, 2011 at 1:55 PM, Leia wrote:
 
Like a good neighbor…. ALMONDS!
 
Lol
 
—–Original Message—–
From: R2D2 
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 14:07
To: Leia
Subject: Re: booster
 
yes!
like a good neighbor ALMONDS AND A PILLOW!
 
On Tue, Aug 9, 2011 at 2:16 PM, Leia wrote:
 
Like a good neighbor…. VACATION!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: R2D2 
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 14:20
To: Leia
Subject: Re: booster
 
like a good neighbor – MONEY TREE!
 
On Tue, Aug 9, 2011 at 2:20 PM, Leia wrote:
 
Like a good neighbor…. *trips over rock*    SHIT!!!!    Oh!      Wait, NO!!!!!!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: R2D2
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 14:24
To: Leia
Subject: Re: booster
 
hahahahhaha Statefarm fail!!!!

There Once was a Pigeon named Tuck…

—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:26
To: Leia
Subject: RE: #2
 
DONE
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:27
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: #2
 
Good lord…. what took you so long!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:28
To: Leia
Subject: RE: #2
 
I had troubles
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:32
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: #2
 
Hemorrhoids?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:32
To: Leia
Subject: RE: #2
 
Well…. It was a pain in the ass…
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:33
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: #2
 
Want some Tucks?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:33
To: Leia
Subject: RE: #2
 
What the tuck is tucks?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:34
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: #2
 
Pigeon spit
 

Watch out. They spit.

—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:34
To: Leia
Subject: RE: #2
 
Why is it called Tucks?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:35
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: #2
 
That’s the Pigeon’s grandfather’s name
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:36
To: Leia
Subject: RE: #2
 
So all of this spit comes from a single pigeon?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:38
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: #2
 
Yes…. they keep him well hydrated
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:39
To: Leia
Subject: RE: #2
 
Change
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:41
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: #2
 
Yes…. a 75 foot tall pigeon
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:42
To: Leia
Subject: RE: #2
 
Change
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:49
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: #2
 
Yes…. a 7 headed pigeon

Much ado about CatDog

—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:15
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
I’m ready to blow this popsicle stand!!!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:17
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Me too! Let’s leave early! And go swimming in your pool! And then blog about it! And then eat carbs for three hours! And then realize that Doug was on the roof THE WHOLE TIME! I still can’t believe that Bruce Willis was dead for the whole movie!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:19
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Eating carbs for 3 hours will make me happy…. then sad….. then sadder….. then mad….. then coma
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:21
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Coma is fun for a little while… Til you wake up with foam on your mouth and belly on your belt.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:21
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
And a dog whimpering in the corner
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:22
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
And he is half-shaved
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:22
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
The “rear-end” … of course
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:23
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
That’s the only end that makes sense
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:26
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Making sense doesn’t really make sense in the scenario…. so we’re going to have to switch it to the front
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:26
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Can we go left side? Is that possible? The dog would look like two-face! Or wait… Since he’s a dog… Would that be 14 face?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:34
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Cat-Dog!!!! 18-14 face!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:37
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
YYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:37
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Cat-Dog was rad… One of my kids had a stuffed animal thing of it
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:40
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
That is legit. I miss all of the old cartoons. And old Nick shows.
 
 —–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:43
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
And the body of the cat-dog was kind of hard…. so they could beat the crap out of each other with it….
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:44
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
That is awesome! I used to have a Big Boss Man stuffed thing that I wrestled with on the trampoline… That thing took a hell of a beating
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:46
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Diego used to too… before The Beast ate his foot….. OHHHHHH!  I forgot to tell you,  Beast ate fricken Spider-Monkey!!!!  The one that was sitting on my kid’s head in the picture…. GONE!
 
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:48
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
NOOOOOOOOO! Beast really needs to stick to some Ol Roy… He’s going to start pooping out Furbies.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:49
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
It makes me want to Orange Julius him….
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:52
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
The only problem is he will ea t your sack of oranges before you get home…
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:57
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
I despise you….

Another Crumby Day at Work

—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:12
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
Nike a ninja
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:12
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
Is that some kind of weird Karate move involving shoes?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:20
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
It’s called a TYPO, asshat!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:20
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
Jeez. Who shit in your peanut butter covered rice cake?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:22
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
Probably  a water bug
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:23
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
NO NEED TO TAKE THAT OUT ON ME. GAH
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:24
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
My bad…. sorry
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:53
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
Ha. Like that is genuine caring. I buy movies for you to watch, I offer to help with bullies, I watch out for you, I keep you entertained, WHAT ELSE MUST I DO?!?!?!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:59
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
OH!!!! And I never do ANYTHING for you?!?!??!?  Really CHEWY!   I refrain from passing gas when I’m using your chair, I submit my reports (for the most part) on time, I give you good stuffs to read, I offer you food, I gift you with knick-knacks (which I stole from my own children’s grasp), I keep you safe from the Beast, I kick our wall when funny things happen, I talk with you on our way to the parking lot (to make you look cool)
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 13:00
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
…… I’m still upset about you crunching up my chips  :/
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 13:03
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
Would it make you feel better if I crunched my own chips
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 13:04
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
No! The chips did nothing to you! I want all of the chips in the world to be safe and cheerful.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 13:11
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
You could become the defender of the chips…. and you could wear a cape!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 13:11
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
My catchphrase- ” Bringing help to all those with a CHIP on their shoulder!”

 

Someone needs a nap

—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 11:21
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Monday
 
I need a nap… or 7
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 11:21
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Monday
 
I could really use one. I hate having to work so freaking early.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 11:23
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Monday
 
I wish we came in at like… 9
 
Did you know Lean Pockets have a Facebook page?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 11:23
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Monday
 
Most everyone does now, it seems.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 11:24
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Monday
 
Would you befriend Lean Pockets?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 11:24
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Monday
 
Not at all. Lol
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 11:28
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Monday
 
😦
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 11:30
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Monday
 
You either REALLY love Lean Pockets… or you have something to gain…
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 11:49
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Monday
 
I was supposed to be sleeping
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 11:52
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Monday
 
SO you make yourself a fan of Lean Pockets instead? Brilliant.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 11:57
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Monday
 
I did not befriend that Lean Pocket!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 11:57
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Monday
 
Facebook begs to differ.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 11:59
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Monday
 
Facebook is a crook!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 11:59
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Monday
 
Only of your soul.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 12:01
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Monday
 
I should have napped
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 12:01
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Monday
 
Me, too. Now I am just lethargic.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 12:06
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Monday
 
Me too!!!!
 
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 12:06
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Monday
 
But, this can of organic pears I just ate was very tasty.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 12:07
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Monday
 
As was my burnt Lean Pocket and Activa yogurt… can you explain why I have the lunch of a 60-year-old today???
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 12:08
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Monday
 
Because your kids made you feel at least that old this weekend?
 
(singing) Activiaaaaaaa!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 12:09
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Monday
 
It’s surprisingly good
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 12:09
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Monday
 
Says your osteoporosis-riddled bones as they creak for the first time since you applied Ben Gay.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2011 12:12
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Monday
 
Activiaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Uri Nation

—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 18, 2011 13:39
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Monday
 
Deal.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 18, 2011 13:49
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Monday
 
 
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 18, 2011 13:49
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Monday
 
No more invisible ink
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 18, 2011 13:51
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Monday
 
It’s like those dogs that see that they’re about to go outside and they get all excited and start jumping all over the place and dribbling pee on the floor
 
I get all excited to start typing and hit Enter
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 18, 2011 13:52
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Monday
 
So excited to email… I love it.
 
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 18, 2011 13:53
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Monday
 
At least I don’t pee myself when I’m excited…… Chewy 
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 18, 2011 13:54
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Monday
 
Look. It was once. It didn’t even get down my whole leg. No need to rub it in my face… again.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 18, 2011 13:55
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Monday
 
You’re like 17 feet tall… It would take a day at best to run down your leg…. It evaporated before it had a chance
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 18, 2011 14:01
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Monday
 
It was freaking hot that day!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 18, 2011 14:02
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Monday
 
It was Christmas!!!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 18, 2011 14:02
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Monday
 
In the desert!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 18, 2011 14:03
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Monday
 
You were laying in a bathtub full of ice after someone stole your kidney!!!!!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 18, 2011 14:04
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Monday
 
EXACTLY!!! You would have pissed yourself, too! I was still scared because the dude came in while I was sleeping… Who steals a kidney from someone who is sleeping?!?!?!?!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Monday, July 18, 2011 14:05
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Monday
 
HE WAS AN AQUARIOUS!!!
 
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Monday, July 18, 2011 14:06
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Monday
 
You still haven’t learned how to spell AQUARIUS?!?!?!