Category Archives: Uncategorized

Fifth Grade Calculator Fun

 

—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:37
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
Why the hell am I a horse?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:38
To: Chewy
Subject: RE:
 
Because you can’t be the lion!!!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:39
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
I have the heart of a lion!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:41
To: Chewy
Subject: RE:
 
I already called the lion… you’re simply too slow.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:42
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
LIAR. LIONS DON’T HAVE PHONES

Simply calling the wizard for some courage

 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:44
To: Chewy
Subject: RE:
 
Circus lions do indeed have phones… TracPhones… but still phones!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:45
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
Now you think you’re BETTER than them? How dare you!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:45
To: Chewy
Subject: RE:
 
Circus horses only have pagers!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:46
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
Hey! They can do two-way text messaging now!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:48
To: Chewy
Subject: RE:
 
35007
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:48
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
QUIT TALKING ABOUT MY MOM
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:50
To: Chewy
Subject: RE:
 
304    It doesn’t work with that 4… 😦
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:51
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
Haha plus she is not a garden tool, you 55378008 hack! Go to 7734!
 
Yeah it doesn’t work
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:52
To: Chewy
Subject: RE:
 
Just cause you have more 8008 than all the women of this branch put together, it doesn’t mean you have to be all nasty about it!!!!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:53
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
F U U JEW
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:53
To: Chewy
Subject: RE:
 
U U?   are those supposed to be 80085
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 15:54
To: Leia
Subject: RE:
 
We are 50 awesome
Advertisements

Like a Good Neighbor…

On Tue, Aug 9, 2011 at 1:30 PM, Leia wrote:
 
And….. here comes the 1:30 slump
 
—–Original Message—–
From: R2D2
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 13:40
To: Leia
Subject: Re: booster
 
eat almonds
 
On Tue, Aug 9, 2011 at 1:40 PM, Leia wrote: 
I haz no almonds
 
—–Original Message—–
From: R2D2 
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 13:46
To: Leia
Subject: Re: booster
 
curses!!!
don’t you wish we had that statefarm chant to get what we want!
 
 
On Tue, Aug 9, 2011 at 1:55 PM, Leia wrote:
 
Like a good neighbor…. ALMONDS!
 
Lol
 
—–Original Message—–
From: R2D2 
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 14:07
To: Leia
Subject: Re: booster
 
yes!
like a good neighbor ALMONDS AND A PILLOW!
 
On Tue, Aug 9, 2011 at 2:16 PM, Leia wrote:
 
Like a good neighbor…. VACATION!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: R2D2 
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 14:20
To: Leia
Subject: Re: booster
 
like a good neighbor – MONEY TREE!
 
On Tue, Aug 9, 2011 at 2:20 PM, Leia wrote:
 
Like a good neighbor…. *trips over rock*    SHIT!!!!    Oh!      Wait, NO!!!!!!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: R2D2
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 14:24
To: Leia
Subject: Re: booster
 
hahahahhaha Statefarm fail!!!!

There Once was a Pigeon named Tuck…

—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:26
To: Leia
Subject: RE: #2
 
DONE
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:27
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: #2
 
Good lord…. what took you so long!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:28
To: Leia
Subject: RE: #2
 
I had troubles
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:32
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: #2
 
Hemorrhoids?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:32
To: Leia
Subject: RE: #2
 
Well…. It was a pain in the ass…
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:33
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: #2
 
Want some Tucks?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:33
To: Leia
Subject: RE: #2
 
What the tuck is tucks?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:34
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: #2
 
Pigeon spit
 

Watch out. They spit.

—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:34
To: Leia
Subject: RE: #2
 
Why is it called Tucks?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:35
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: #2
 
That’s the Pigeon’s grandfather’s name
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:36
To: Leia
Subject: RE: #2
 
So all of this spit comes from a single pigeon?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:38
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: #2
 
Yes…. they keep him well hydrated
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:39
To: Leia
Subject: RE: #2
 
Change
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:41
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: #2
 
Yes…. a 75 foot tall pigeon
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:42
To: Leia
Subject: RE: #2
 
Change
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 15:49
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: #2
 
Yes…. a 7 headed pigeon

Lazy Leia

—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:02
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
WITH A SPOON
 
 
(Robin Hood reference)
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:03
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Not gonna google it… too tired
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:03
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
To Google? You do need a food coma!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:04
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Already have a couple… thanks.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:05
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
How can you possibly have more than one??
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:10
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
I try to stock up before I run low….
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:14
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
That’s actually brilliant
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:24
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Duh
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:25
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Sorry to question you, oh great and powerful one.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:26
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Yeah, that’s right…. don’t make me go antagonize another heartfelt Facebook post between you and your mom!!!! Lol
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:27
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Bahahaha Jerk
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:31
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
You know I’m a special chick when I have the ballz to go do that!!!! Lol
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:32
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Or just a good friend
 
 
At first, I misspelled it and it said god friend. I almost left it.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:33
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:33
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
That looked like a vocal representation of coughing up a hairball
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:35
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
It was totally not supposed to be that….
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:36
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
What it looks like when you laugh until you choke?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:36
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
*glare*
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:37
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
I meant nothing by it
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:42
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
*meg-glare*
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:43
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Who’s Meg?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:46
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
It’s Mega’s nickname
 
 
*MEGAGLARE*
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:46
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
What did I do to deserve MEGA-GLARE?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:48
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
I don’t remember and I’m too last to scroll down and find out….
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:48
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Last=lazy
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 14:49
To: Chewy
Subject: FW: Wednesday
 
….and I probably should have sent that to you… not myself.

Much ado about CatDog

—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:15
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
I’m ready to blow this popsicle stand!!!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:17
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Me too! Let’s leave early! And go swimming in your pool! And then blog about it! And then eat carbs for three hours! And then realize that Doug was on the roof THE WHOLE TIME! I still can’t believe that Bruce Willis was dead for the whole movie!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:19
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Eating carbs for 3 hours will make me happy…. then sad….. then sadder….. then mad….. then coma
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:21
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Coma is fun for a little while… Til you wake up with foam on your mouth and belly on your belt.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:21
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
And a dog whimpering in the corner
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:22
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
And he is half-shaved
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:22
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
The “rear-end” … of course
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:23
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
That’s the only end that makes sense
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:26
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Making sense doesn’t really make sense in the scenario…. so we’re going to have to switch it to the front
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:26
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Can we go left side? Is that possible? The dog would look like two-face! Or wait… Since he’s a dog… Would that be 14 face?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:34
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Cat-Dog!!!! 18-14 face!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:37
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
YYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:37
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Cat-Dog was rad… One of my kids had a stuffed animal thing of it
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:40
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
That is legit. I miss all of the old cartoons. And old Nick shows.
 
 —–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:43
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
And the body of the cat-dog was kind of hard…. so they could beat the crap out of each other with it….
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:44
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
That is awesome! I used to have a Big Boss Man stuffed thing that I wrestled with on the trampoline… That thing took a hell of a beating
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:46
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
Diego used to too… before The Beast ate his foot….. OHHHHHH!  I forgot to tell you,  Beast ate fricken Spider-Monkey!!!!  The one that was sitting on my kid’s head in the picture…. GONE!
 
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:48
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
NOOOOOOOOO! Beast really needs to stick to some Ol Roy… He’s going to start pooping out Furbies.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:49
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
It makes me want to Orange Julius him….
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:52
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
The only problem is he will ea t your sack of oranges before you get home…
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2011 10:57
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Wednesday
 
I despise you….

Blue Light Special

—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 13:52
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
This brownie reminds me of Kmart air
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 13:54
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
This email is literally the most random thing I think I have ever received.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 13:58
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
And the most truthful
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 13:58
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
You are such a philosopherus rex
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 14:02
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
It’s my Friday *shrugs*
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 14:06
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
Possibly mine too
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 14:14
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
Want some brownie
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 14:14
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
YES. I like K-Mart air
 
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 14:22
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
If you tastededed it, you’d be all “Oh, crap… this shiz tasted eggsactually like K-mart air, son!”     and then I’d be all, “I’m not your son!!!!”  and then you’d try to explain that you didn’t mean I was actually your real birth-son… but then I’d just start flailing.. and we both KNOW how you hate when I flail… so at that point you’d probably just walk away… but unfortunately you’d walk straight into the path of The Emperor…. Thank goodness he’d already been beaten down in a multitude of meetings so he would just give a half-assed “Caw CAW” and hop up on your shoulder….   at that point it would probably be safe to say that you walked into the sunset…   as I still flail in despair

Another Crumby Day at Work

—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:12
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
Nike a ninja
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:12
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
Is that some kind of weird Karate move involving shoes?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:20
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
It’s called a TYPO, asshat!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:20
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
Jeez. Who shit in your peanut butter covered rice cake?
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:22
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
Probably  a water bug
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:23
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
NO NEED TO TAKE THAT OUT ON ME. GAH
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:24
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
My bad…. sorry
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:53
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
Ha. Like that is genuine caring. I buy movies for you to watch, I offer to help with bullies, I watch out for you, I keep you entertained, WHAT ELSE MUST I DO?!?!?!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 12:59
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
OH!!!! And I never do ANYTHING for you?!?!??!?  Really CHEWY!   I refrain from passing gas when I’m using your chair, I submit my reports (for the most part) on time, I give you good stuffs to read, I offer you food, I gift you with knick-knacks (which I stole from my own children’s grasp), I keep you safe from the Beast, I kick our wall when funny things happen, I talk with you on our way to the parking lot (to make you look cool)
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 13:00
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
…… I’m still upset about you crunching up my chips  :/
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 13:03
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
Would it make you feel better if I crunched my own chips
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 13:04
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
No! The chips did nothing to you! I want all of the chips in the world to be safe and cheerful.
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Leia
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 13:11
To: Chewy
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
You could become the defender of the chips…. and you could wear a cape!
 
—–Original Message—–
From: Chewy
Sent: Thursday, July 28, 2011 13:11
To: Leia
Subject: RE: Yikes… stripes
 
My catchphrase- ” Bringing help to all those with a CHIP on their shoulder!”